He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
