the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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