my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
