Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

I can tuck mytits in my pants

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(519): View more from Ontario

and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

you were grabbing cocks left and right

(808): View more from Hawaii

you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"

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(954): View more from Florida

so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine

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(810): View more from Michigan

my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.

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(212): View more from New York

You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Be there in 20. Want icecream?

(1-613): View more from Ontario

sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.

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