Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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