its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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