is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
