There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
