I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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