I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
