I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
