He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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