If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
