i think my mom watched the whole time
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
