i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
