Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
