16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She bit a glass in half.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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