ugly people sure do ruin things
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
