WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
