I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
