Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
