my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
even my farts smell like vagina
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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