Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
