I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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