So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
