it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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