My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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