So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
