I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
