After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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