One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
