the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
