hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
