he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
