I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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