If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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