Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
