I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
