Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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