i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
