There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
