She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
