Best friends brother. Beat that.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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