Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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