Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
