Define "chronic" masturbator.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
