Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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