We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
