she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I deserve this hangover.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
