So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
