There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just sent this text using only my big toe
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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