a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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