we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize