White coat. Heels.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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