is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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