last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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