I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
honey bunches of taint.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Randomize
